My perspective on things does not seem to even be on the same planet as it was a year ago today.
Sometimes I cannot believe that I am actually present as time passes by. I obviously know that I am, as I have the memories as proof. When everything comes to a halt, using the present moment as an example, I am blown away when I look back at even the past day of events. Not to mention a whole year or more.
It’s quite overwhelming to piece together the thoughts I am having, trying to put together this puzzle of my journey. It’s hard to make this pathetic attempt to release some thoughts, sound interesting. Words used to flow out of my mind quite freely. While lately, it takes considerable effort.
I pass through page after page online, looking at the progression of my friends and loved ones. Watching such growth, birth as well as rebirth. Challenges being met and conquered. It’s quite amazing to see how much a year can make, change, destroy and rebuild. Quite easy when you are are talking about a tangible object. Quite extraordinary when you are talking about something real. Life.
After watching a movie last night, and reading over a well thought out blog of sorts from a distant friend. I have realized that once again I have fallen into this dark hole that leaves me hungry for more. I suppose that life can change as often as it would like to. Even if that means leaving my life in a disheveled mess. No matter how often you think you have everything figured out, there will always be a curve ball that forces you to realize “I have no idea what’s going on”.
Reading back over my words here have me realizing that I cannot move on from the same thought. I am almost so inside this emotion, it is all I can write about, it is all that I am feeling. It is, most definitely true to where I am in my life at the moment. This story, of sorts. These words, are me.
