oak tree

cigarette burning away in the ash-tray. head resting in my hands, decisions I never thought I would be faced with, weighing heavy on my mind.

music playing on the radio, decisions dancing inside my mind. i can't remember when I was this tired before in life. so tired, yet full of life.

even when you think there will be no surprise around the corner, one grabs hold of you, shakes you around and makes you take notice.

staring out the window, thinking, not sure about what. blue-eyes, you think too much, smirk plastered on my face. something this easy can't be real, something this hard, can't be this easy.

being a true believer in fate, my smirk falls and my eyes close tight. questioning why, how, if. Everything. i can't remember the last time. why do I question, when enjoying is easier. life is what it is, is it not?

seeing the jersey lights shine, the center of the world in the distance. life can expire today, tomorrow, minutes from now. thinking, questioning...useless when the box closes. i already have the answers, today i stop questioning them.

my smiles are real. because i am full of life. thank you oak tree, for the gentle, absolute reminders.