I don't want to play anymore

This world...seriously, what the F*ck!

I can't understand this world that we live in anymore. I don't understand being underhanded. I can't fathom walking all over people around me, to benefit myself. I look at everyone around me as an equal. I live a life being thankful for the idea of a world of free choices. I wish that meant something, other than people using it in a way that destroy's others.

There is so much paperwork, signatures, documentation. What are we anyway? A business deal, disposable useless products? Rejects?

I feel labeled not as gay, or as white, or as of Dutch decent. I feel labeled as simply another beating heart, basically useless to the world in which I have faith.

Sometimes, I struggle to understand the point in it. At times like this, I remember those I love, my passions, the small things that make me laugh and giggle. They are important to me, and I would not trade them for anything. I simply struggle, why love, laugh and giggle in a place it is never noticed.

I wonder, am I my own world. Do I have these laws, these documents, these rules inside of myself?

I wonder...will any of this make a difference in the end.

I hate complaining, I hate hurting, I hate, hating...but it seems that this world has taught me how to do all of these things better than anything else.

Forever, I will continue to make my small differences, I will continue to love unconditionally, I will continue to laugh uncontrollably, but I will never stop noticing everything else, and will always harbor a little disappointment for that.