just stopped by to say hello

My mind, numb.

A long Holiday weekend has come to an end. I spent a little over 24 hours sitting in my apartment, from Saturday afternoon, until I left today to come to work. My neck sore from lounging on the couch far too long. My mind numb from far too much television.

I have such a hunger to be creative. My mind constantly flowing over these past 5 days away from work. My body sort of paralyzed from taking action. I am a hypocrite of my own good advice. Life is too short, the world is at your fingertips, possibilities are really very endless.

I sit here at my desk, nestled inside this office. I wonder, why? I have a genuine heart, I care enough, I love truly and unconditionally. I sit here numb. I do not feel anything.

Our world has become so dependent on technology. I enjoy, and utilize all that it has to offer, while see how it paralyzes us all. People no longer do the random drive by to say hello. People are so against having their space invaded by the unexpected knock on the door. Funny, it is rarely offensive when someone IM's you without a call, or email to check on your availability.

I do not understand this world as much as I used to. I have spent countless hours of my life looking for answers. I believe now, I was better off living without wondering. Wondering and finding now leaves me feeling like an outcast.

someone moved....

I have had a blog on AOL for about a year, and have never been happy with it. So here I am blogging with the other bloggers. Since I am going to remove my previous AOL blog, I will be moving over some previous posts.

More to come, my mind..it is always in motion

Standing backwards in a mirror

Four walls, hard wood floors, a descending ceiling. Lying flat on my back, looking at the blue sky between the blinds. These thoughts running full of life in my head, tiresome. A “sneeze” with no bless-you.

Soft sheets, and fluffy pillows. Underneath a heavy quilt, my body shivering, legs aching. Around my neck, wrapped in my soft orange blanket, a childhood reminder that I will never be alone. Lying still, moving around, restless.

A warm coat, gloves and scarf. Strong shoes, and corduroy pants. Walking the street from what I call home, feelings walking though my veins from my heart, thoughts running throughout my body from my head. Slowly connected, realized and understood. Beautiful leaves dance beneath my feet, nature alive as it sleeps. This world, changing in its routine, Life developing, no matter what.

Another sneeze, still no bless you. Pulling a tissue from my inside pocket, a tear rushing down my face quickly caught. I stretch my arms above my head, then rest them arm over arm, hugging, comforting. Then a bless you I hear mixed in with my own thoughts.
I tossed the rope of orange and green around my neck, slid my hands into my pockets and listened to the soles of my shoes dance the sidewalk home